Friday, March 11, 2005

Who Sucks?

It occurs to me tonight that not enough attention is paid to the topic of who exactly sucks. Sure the accusation is tossed around often enough. But without regard to standards or principles how can we trust that someone accused of sucking truly sucks?

Not to worry. I'm here to help. In no way a definitive list, but offered as a guideline for your own assessment, I offer....

The List of People Who Suck
  1. People who don't use turn signals
  2. People who hold conversations with the window-person in the fast-food lane while others are waiting behind them
  3. The French.
  4. Anyone who keeps a "Kerry for President" bumper sticker on their car out of principle rather than laziness.
  5. People who use "creative" tones for the ringer on their cell phone who do not pick up after the first ring.
  6. Vegetarians.
  7. Regular readers of any publication with the word "New York" in the title who do not live within commuting distance of New York.
  8. Anyone upset about the poor availability of Mahi-mahi; anywhere, anytime.
  9. Fans of Philadelphia sports teams.
  10. Any white person who cannot turn off "hip-hop" slang when speaking with normal people.
You're welcome.

3 Comments:

Anonymous saint paul said...

May I suggest, for the Met Center diaspora:

11. Al Secord

10:00 AM  
Blogger Army of Mom said...

Ohh, I love these. I have a list, too. I may have to steal your idea for my blog.

10:08 AM  
Blogger Todd said...

Hey, I read the New York Times.

Here's one I have experienced too often lately: people in the right lane on the freeway who speed up to cut people off who are trying to merge. (Bonus suckage points if left lane is open.)

11:56 AM  

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