Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Fertilizer Portrayed As A Rose

The Pioneer Press editorial board, after flirting with the idea that perhaps the Twin Cities could use an independent minded professional newspaper in contrast to the leftist-hackery of the Star Tribune, has apparently decided a continuing existence as the junior lickspittle media organ for the DFL is good enough for them.

Evidence of this decision comes in the form of a disgusting little missive they attempt to pass off as an editorial this morning: Dayton puts focus on truthful dialogue.

Let's start with the public figure in question, Senator Mark Dayton. Remember him? The idiot scion of wealth who purchased Minnesota’s Senate seat with his inheritance and famously freaked out about an impending terrorist attack on Washington? I first suspected that the editorial board had crafted the title in irony. The notion that Senator Dayton had finally crawled out from under his desk out of his great devotion to truthful dialogue is surely laughable on its face. But the Pioneer Press obviously assumes they have a readership almost as stupid as Dayton himself, so they decided to run with that line in all seriousness.

They begin with this:

“Sen. Mark Dayton led the rhetorical charge Tuesday on the Senate floor against confirmation of Condoleezza Rice as secretary of state.”

Have you ever listened to this mouth-breather give a speech? He’s barely capable of leading a rhetorical stagger, much less a charge. The next passage is more telling:

“There was no surprise in his opposition. The Democratic senior senator from Minnesota said last week that he would vote against her confirmation despite almost certain success for the nomination.”

Now that sounds more like Dayton: conducting a self-glorifying empty gesture while wasting everyone else’s time. God knows crafting legislation isn’t one of Dayton’s strengths, and at least he didn’t attempt to panic all of Washington this time.

But wait, the junior-idiot editorial board has a different take on this:

“But Dayton's speech during the Senate floor debate rose to the best traditions of that storied chamber. It is the obligation of the loyal opposition to stand up when it matters greatly.”

Didn’t we just establish above that this was about holding up an inevitable confirmation? So Dayton’s grandstanding “matters greatly” how exactly?

“The conduct of war and foreign policy more broadly do matter greatly. And it does matter greatly to say so if, as Dayton believes, the Bush administration has been evasive and untruthful about the reasons for going to war in Iraq and in how it is conducting that war.”

Since we can rule out the notion that Dayton was conducting either war or foreign policy from the Senate floor, let’s focus on that latter statement. We’re left with the editors endorsing the notion that it is important what Dayton “believes” about the Bush administration’s truthfulness. Well, sure. It does matter. It matters greatly especially because his beliefs fly in the face of a bi-partisan Senate report on the matter. Basing his opposition on his “beliefs” rather than a higher standard – like evidence – is representative of Dayton’s irresponsible nature, and the lack of seriousness with which he approaches his job. That Pioneer Press editors find this behavior laudable serves to condemn their own judgment, as well as common sense.

The Pioneer Press conclusion embarrassingly spills out here:

“We think some things are larger than partisan envy. Open examinations of U.S. foreign policy and its leadership are duties of Congress and especially the Senate. Count Dayton among senators rising to these duties in fierce and frightening times for America in the world.”

Hear that, you stupid, stupid readers of the Pioneer Press? Despite all appearances, Marky Dayton wasn’t acting like an obstructionist partisan, pulling unfounded accusations out of thin air, and leveraging Senate procedure to hold up a certain confirmation. No sir. He actually rose above partisanship, and only coincidentally did this amount to a knee-jerk partisan attack against an administration from the opposite political party.

Listen, idiot crap-weasel editors of the number two local paper, leave sucking up to the DFL to the guys across the river. We don’t need two papers singing the same tune in this town.

As you well know, the truth here is that Dayton decided to throw in with the most extreme partisans of his party (Senator Byrd (D-KKK), Senator Kennedy (D-Chappaquiddick), and Senator Boxer (D-Short Bus)) to throw a dog and pony show for the benefit of the leftist hacks in the press. Evidence? Purpose? Pshaw! A good attack on Bush needs no justification, and is an automatic ticket to glowing praise in the media. If ever such a notion could be considered an unfair media criticism, let this Pioneer Press editorial be preserved as proof.

(Dayton v Kennedy has more on the matter.)


Blogger LearnedFoot said...


Nice post.

But please do not ever use the words "lickspittle" and "organ" in the same sentence again.


10:35 AM  
Blogger Doug said...

I'll take it under advisement. But for the record, "lickspittle" and "slavering sycophantic baboons" didn't seem to have the right flow.

10:53 AM  

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