Sunday, January 30, 2005

Computer Disaster

Serious events are going on in the world today. But you'll have to look elsewhere for news about them, because I have other things on my mind. Namely - I killed my computer last night. Killed as in dead-as-a-doorknob. It's now no more useful than a fancy and extremely expensive paperweight.

Things I blame: Gin. And the awkward shape and stability of the classic martini glass. And the fact that the CD player I was reaching for was sitting on the opposite side of the computer, forcing me to reach across. And the fact that Mama Ellen told me I looked tired and should go to bed a short time previously, and I agreed but didn't do it.

So anyway, just in case you were curious, gin, vermouth, and a small amount of olive juice is not something you should ever use to clean the keyboard of your notebook computer - intentionally or not.

On a more positive note, Dell computer support seems to be based in the U. S. again. After waiting almost an hour on hold I got to speak to someone named Lamont who actually sounded like a Lamont, rather than someone calling herself "Mary," who sounds like her real name is something rather more exotic.

Lamont listened to my problem. Checked the word "spillage" against my warranty, and gave me the not-terribly-surprising news that my warranty didn't cover the problem. He also gave me another number to call during regular Monday through Friday business hours, so I have another hour or so on hold to look forward to. That and a bill which might approach the cost of buying a new computer, since Lamont's script mentioned something about replacing the motherboard. That and the fact that I'll be stunned if I can get this fixed and returned to me within a month.

So for now I'm borrowing Mama Ellen's computer. She's not nearly as computer addicted as me yet, so that should work for a while. But I'll be kind of twitchy over the next few weeks as nothing will feel quite right, not having a computer to take with me to the coffee house, or even to work.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Easy but less-than-ethical fixes
A) Buy the same laptop model you ruined. Swap the hard-drives. Return the 'wink-wink' new laptop that just happens to not work ASAP and get your money back.

B) Sell the dead one on eBay as a laptop used by a famous rock star or politician. Say it was Carl Rove's laptop that was sabotaged by a militant Right-to-Lifer! You could easily triple your money!


12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said..., I meant "Pro-Choicer". Damn this real time blog response thing is too risky! I hit the Publish button too soon and totally blow my punch line!


12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it were me, I'd unscrew the keyboard & remove it. Look to see how much liquid may be inside; it may not have gone passed the keyboard. In the meantime, order a replacement keyboard (I had to for a Compaq laptop & it was less than $40 shipped). By the time the new keyboard comes, the rest may be dry & you might be back in action.

If it's really old, I'd just buy a new laptop.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Margaret said...

I can't believe you downed your laptop with a martini. Sounds like something Atomizer would do. Couldn't it at least be a fine cabernet? Seriously, though I feel for you. My thesis advisor once killed his laptop with half a book on it by spilling coffee all over it. They rescued his harddrive but not before he almost gave himself a heart attack. Personally, I have the indestructible keyboard (a roll up silcone thing) for my desktop because it resists everything, drinks, dirt, bird poop, you name it. Unfortuntely, I blog from my laptop which is downstairs where drinks, dirt and bird poop are in abundance. If I write a book, it will be upstairs. Oh, and David says "go to Get a widescreen even if you have to pay more."

10:38 PM  

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