Friday, December 31, 2004

Predictions for 2005

Everyone must be simply dying over the fact that I have not made my predictions for 2005 yet!! (Ok, well I read Rick’s post on the topic and the mood hit me anyway.)

So without further adieu….

Predictions for 2005:

  • Iraqi elections will be held as planned. The new government’s legitimacy will be immediately challenged by the Western media on the basis that "Bush is evil."
  • Hugh Hewitt will publish another book (working title, “Cooking with Hugh”).
  • Donald Rumsfeld will not resign.
  • Hot new diet fad of 2005: The Monster Thickburger Diet!!
  • Hottest Rap Artist of 2005: Like I’d have a clue.
  • Republicans in the Senate will quickly adopt the media-dubbed “nuclear option,” preventing judicial nominations from being filibustered. This will be THE big story of 2005.
  • Best new show of 2005: Battlestar Galactica
  • Worst new show of 2005: CSI Fargo
  • Following the death of William Rehnquist, Clarence Thomas will be nominated as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
  • In an attempt to move their party in a more moderate direction, The Democratic Leadership Council will launch a "Bush isn't evil, he's stupid" campaign.
  • The Northern Alliance Radio Network will become syndicated.
  • In an attempt to stay hip and relevant, NBC will name Comedy Central's "Daily Show" Host John Stewart as their new evening news anchor.
  • In a typically out-of-touch and rather clueless attempt at the same, CBS will name comedian Gallagher as their own evening news anchor.
  • After refusing network demands that he conclude each broadcast by smashing a watermelon, ABC will announce Peter Jennings’ retirement.
  • Congress will not pass a resolution demanding that nations receiving foreign aid from U. S. taxpayers stop calling us evil or give back the money – but they should.
  • Bogus Gold will handily win the Wizbang award in its category (Best Upper-Midwestern blog, with an anagram title, written by a pasty-white mid-30’s guy, lacking any discernible theme).

2 Comments:

Blogger Drew said...

Whoa! It really IS an anagram!

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doug's Glob?

4:31 PM  

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