Friday, December 03, 2004

Fashion Police

Adding to the eclectic list of things I blog about, I have a new one today – fashion. Metro-sexual, I am not. Nevertheless, now and then I see something in the fashion world that cries out for comment, and today I saw one.

While getting lunch today, I noticed a rather fetching woman in a fuzzy gray sweater. Not so unusual in itself. A big fuzzy turtle-necked sweater is a fairly conventional sight in December in Minnesota. Except for one more detail. It had short sleeves.

What could possibly be the point of putting all that effort into making a cozy warm garment, and then chopping off the sleeves? Are you cold, or not? Is it short sleeve weather, or sweater weather? There can be only one answer to this self-contradicting affront to the laws of sensible apparel – fashion.

Not that the garment was unattractive in a conventional sense. It looked alright, when I could tune out the part of my mind that was screaming in outrage. But one of the things about fashion I’ve noticed is how this sort of idea can catch on and catch people like me unawares. The real danger of the short-sleeved fuzzy sweater is that it could very well inspire someone to create arm-warmers, in a hideous collision of fashion and practicality. And then, of course, some celebrity would show up to one of those several hundred awards ceremonies where celebrities tell each other how fabulous they all are, and she’d make a new fashion statement by wearing the arm-warmers without the accompanying sweater. Just like that, we’re stuck with crap like the leg-warmer craze from the 80’s.

So here’s a message to all the guys out there. When your wife or girlfriend asks you how you like her new short sleeved fuzzy turtle-neck sweater, casually mention something about it making her look a little heavier, or perhaps older. Toss yourself on that grenade for the sake of humanity in general.


Blogger TFB said...

Fashion...the untapped topic.
You have made many valid points o wise one.
Lileks did a post a while back on the horror that is the 70's making a comeback in the fashion world.
We will need to see more of this commentary.

12:48 PM  

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